Author: Sanjeev Roy

Synopsis

Unfounded optimism, lack of caution & social distancing norms, and a bizarre sense of invincibility have deepened the ongoing Covid crisis. At a time like this, following the Stockdale Paradox may well prove to be the best strategy.

By Avik Chanda & Sanjeev Roy

15th May 2021

For over two decades now, psychologists such as Daniel Goleman and others, have been telling us that empathy is a crucial workplace competency. But empathy and its association with words like feelings and emotions continues to make people uncomfortable.

Empathy means being able to 1) understand the other person’s thoughts, motives, worries, etc. 2) understand their experience and feelings in a given situation.

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Author Brene Brown defines empathy as connecting with people so we know we’re not alone when we’re in a struggle. She says empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing; and it doesn’t require that we have experienced the same situation they are going through.

In this article, we’ll look at  some myths about empathy that we have encountered in our work with leadership. These myths are why many continue to give empathy a theoretical nod but often a practical pass. We will address ways in which empathy can be practiced at the workplace. 

Myth #1: Empathy means being “emotional” at the cost of logic and reason.

Empathy is often seen as giving into emotions and losing objectivity or rationality.This is what makes many in the workplace uncomfortable with “being empathetic”.

The truth is that empathy is akin to an internal, navigational tool. It helps us to better understand those who we must work and interact with on a regular basis. Practicing empathy means making efforts to understand the other person’s experience and point of view; the way they think about what’s going on. 

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This makes empathy an important relationship management tool, whether it be with business partners or internal team members; it allows you to connect before you can “correct” or “work to find a solution”. Empathy allows us to understand the other person’s perspective and reach a mutually agreeable decision.

If a colleague were to share that ‘I am hesitant to state a different point of view because I might be ridiculed’, responses that may get a real connection going would involve acknowledging the person’s fears. If necessary, asking what caused such fears to take hold. And finally, if the need still persists, proceed to solutioning together. Sometimes, the acknowledgement may be enough. That is how one translates empathy into action.

This leads us to our myth #2, that empathy equals agreeing.

Myth #2: Empathy means agreeing to everything the other person has to say/demands.

Coming back to the idea that empathy is really a navigational tool that allows us to be on the same page as the other person. 

Whilst being empathetic means acknowledging the other person’s feelings and experience as being valid, you can be empathetic to someone and still disagree with them. The deep listening and connection are what allow you to remain firm.

A colleague or team member, who is continuously missing deliverables for some time may share how they are feeling overworked or struggling with something. Empathy in action would mean listening to them, acknowledging their feelings but stating that the tasks have to be performed. Asking the person to think of solutions and then helping them along as appropriate may be more useful.

 

Myth #3: Empathy is time-consuming and delays work

One that we hear very often is that empathy needs time and we just don’t have it… In the midst of our daily hustles, empathy often gets pushed to the back burner as we try to “just get work done”. However, short term effort in empathizing with others can lead to huge long term benefit and save both time and effort in the long run. 

In any parent-child or mentor mentee relationship, this is quite relevant. The more you “connect” and stuff up the “connection box”, the easier it is to set boundaries, provide guidance, help learning. Investing in connection strengthens the relationship that over time then is the foundation for crossing tougher bridges much faster! 

The more we see empathy as a critical business competency, the more aligned we are in the language we use to talk about it. 

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Myth #4: Empathy is a personality trait and not a skill.

The common belief is that you either are empathetic or not. It is believed, though inaccurately, that “it is what it is” and can’t be changed or improved.

However, as psychologist Jamil Zaki has portrayed through extensive research and interventions, empathy is a learnable skill. It is like a muscle that gets stronger and stronger over time through conscious efforts and training activities and experiential interventions such as perspective-taking, coaching, etc.

Learning to be a better listener, mastering the art of framing responses mindfully, taking time to respond, resisting the need to put everything in a positive light and so on are all learnable.

Empathy has always been an important leadership competency and the pandemic has brought it into sharp focus.

At Bullzi, we have created some very specific interventions to help leaders develop their empathy muscle. We have run multiple editions of our Connected Leadership Lab and Leading WIth Empathy. 

This article written by the Bullzi team is the second in the series Preparing Leaders For The Post-Covid Era that addresses key challenges and needs for leaders in a changed, post-Covid19 work landscape. Read the others here:  Chronic Stress In The C-Suite

The job of the C-suite has always been tough but the pandemic has exasperated the situation further. Amidst a highly demanding work environment, combined with fear and uncertainty regarding their and their family & friends’ health as well as a sense of loss of ”normalcy”, it seems, leaders in the c-suite haven’t really cracked the code on how to operate in this new, distanced world. 

The c-suite is being called upon to show the way to their organizations out of the pandemic-induced challenges, double down on motivation, and reinforce the sense of purpose and connection within the organization, besides adjusting their own leadership approach for a technologically-driven, distanced work environment. All of this is leading to chronic stress in the c-suite. 

What impact is it having on individuals and on the organisations they lead? We attempt to answer in this article.

Unacknowledged stress in leadership

This Elemental article takes a deep dive into the topic of pandemic-induced long-term stress. It brings forth key insights on what chronic stress can do to a person’s mental well-being in the long term; it highlights how prolonged stress results in a higher chance of leading to mental disorders such as depression or PTSD, etc. 

The impact is likely, to a lesser or higher level, depending on the proximity of one’s experience with the pandemic. Loss of family/friends, business continuity stress, anxiety about the future, isolation…all of these are likely to contribute to higher anxiety and stress in any person.

The article also attempts to explain the impact of a loss of social connection and  sense of “normalcy” on how effectively we can deal with chronic stress and the unusual emotions we are experiencing right now: why, for example, we no longer enjoy or are excited about doing some of the things we absolutely loved pre-Covid. 

What we are experiencing right now is a form of collective grief or stress – even for those who haven’t personally experienced loss of loved ones or loss of job – there is a sense of gloom they might be experiencing due to the sheer difficulty and uncertainty of what’s going on all around us.

Since the beginning of 2020, we at Bullzi have been tracking leadership and organisation ‘state of being’ through our own surveys and desk research. We have also run new age psychometrics (with our partner organisation NUVAH) that specifically track resilience, anxiety and state of being. At each stage we have found that leadership stress trends higher than average stress, yet it is not acknowledged. 

Chronic stress and resilience

While an appropriate level of stress can often be helpful to get the thinking fluids flowing, prolonged stress can be detrimental for any individual’s long term well-being and will also, at some point, interfere with their work needs.

Over the past 3 months we have invited over thirty five C-suite members to take part in a psychometric (from our partners NUVAH) that measures resilience. While overall resilience scores are in the positive zone, scores on stress and sense of being in control are generally in the orange and red zones.

The relationship between stress and resilience is a peculiar one – while ordinarily, both stress and resilience co-exist and in a way, effectively dealing with some stress does contribute to building personal resilience; long-term stress lowers our ability to adapt to and address demanding situations. 

Leadership resilience and its cascading effects

When it happens to leaders in the c-suite, this lowered resilience also has an impact on the organization’s overall performance and long-term resilience. Resilient Leaders boost organizational resilience and culture and vice versa.

While there are many factors such as strong  core values, relevant mission and customer value proposition, agile and adaptable structures and processes that help the organization build its resilience; if the organization is the vehicle, leaders are akin to the drivers responsible for direction and action in this regard. And thus, leaders need to be ready for the next battle – whenever that may be. This goes beyond the ability to plan and make the right business decisions; it requires  the ability to have clarity and the right outlook to deal with adverse events. Resilience is not an end result, but rather a process of adaptation and growth in a complex and risky operating landscape. 

On the other hand, a culture of resilience within the organization also helps individuals build a resilient outlook in their personal lives. It’s a reinforcing loop. When the organization has clearly defined processes and approaches to build a culture of resilience, it makes it easier for the individual leaders in the organization to deal with uncertainty and complexity. But it is the leaders who have to lead the way in terms of defining an organization-wide culture of resilience.

Organizations must ask themselves, whether this is a virtuous cycle or a vicious one.

When individuals’ well-being, besides financial outcomes, is treated as a priority…when the organization helps its people be better prepared to deal with the stress associated with complex or unpredictable situations…when safe spaces are created for individuals to acknowledge and reflect on setbacks, work through challenges and draw out  learnings for the future…when an “always on” work environment is discouraged, the leaders are better able to cope with highly demanding needs at the workplace.

On the other hand, when an organization prides itself in constantly operating in a “fire fighting mode”…when the next crisis is always just around the corner…when focus on personal well-being and mental health is labelled “selfish”, the leaders will soon find themselves spiralling down the rabbithole of difficult situations, leading to more stress and therefore, more challenges and so on.  

Leaders in the c-suite are increasingly called upon to advance the mental well-being agenda but can they really do so without putting it in practice for themselves?

This article written by the Bullzi team is first in the series Preparing Leaders For The Post-Covid Era that addresses key challenges and needs for leaders in a changed, post-Covid19 work landscape. Look out for the others in the coming weeks.