BullzI Rebuttal #3 – Can Bosses and their reportees really be best friends?
What happens if and when your boss becomes your best friend? CAN your boss actually become a close buddy? And by close, we mean someone you can just be ‘yourself’ with. No guise, no pretence, just trust.
Or on the flip side, if you’re the boss, would you/can you really trust your subordinate? On a personal level, as a close friend? And what do we mean by ‘personal’ and ‘professional’levels? Are the two, insular points that cannot meet? Certainly not in the workplace, as one old timer told me sometime ago. But the work culture today is vastly different, argue the hip/highly successful/sensible professional junta. With more and more time being spent within the corporate walls, the new age work culture, it seems, allows for an infinitely more egalitarian space that encourages an open and free camaraderie with juniors, peers and seniors alike. So, wouldn’t this environment be the most fertile ground for great bonding, irrespective of hierarchy, erstwhile professional ethics / code of conduct et al? Or does this kind of bonhomie at work place add up to groupism, favouritism among other isms? How difficult is it to maintain a professional and personal balance? Some say from experience that it can be quite an edgy line drawn between the two collaterals. So when and how does one draw that line?
While quite a few declare it’s not possible, there are others who’ve struck beautiful bonds of friendship that they continue to cherish with their bosses/subordinates.
What kind of experiences/ thoughts/feelings do you have? Firsthand, secondhand, thirdhand…
Does the workplace culture allow for your boss/subordinate to be your best buddy? Is the workplace culture today conducive to your boss/subordinate becoming your best buddy?
Lets hear em’ for all of us here on yet another unspoken and often misunderstood issue. We’d wish for comments below from both sides, especially from those who have experiences from a time when the work environment encouraged people to stick to a single job for long enough to have a real meaningful relationship with a boss.
D5 Creation
Yup, I think when you work closely and well with someone a friendship is bound to develop. The days of stuffy formal structures is gone – it’s about great conversations, rapport and loving what you do – surely, a good relationship with your boss/ immediate subordinate is an important factor!
Well said Kajal. However a great working relationship on a more ‘equal’ footing is in itself not enough for a great ‘friendship’. There might still be a lot of ‘pretend’ in such relationships. If the supervisor is still responsible for the reportees career growth there could still be the usual pitfalls – ‘sucking up’ (the most commonly used career advancement tactic) from the reportee and ‘basking in glory’ from supervisor who truly believes the reportee. I see it too often when dealing with leaders in my Executive Coaching programmes
I think both – boss and reportee – need to be super humans to become BEST buddies. I believe one can be on ‘Very Good Terms’ with the boss/reportee but that is it. In cross-functional superior-subordinate relationship there is still a possibility of becoming best friends but not in immediate hierarchical relationships. There will always be the fact in the back of the mind that the boss is responsible for reportee’s career advancement which will lead to some kind of un-natural or pretentious behaviour between the two. Not that bosses do not try to prove the point that ‘Boss is always right’. They still do!!!
Sure why not!??
Like any other relationship this too would work if the boundaries are clearly defined. If both people can separate the friendship part from the professional part, it can work. And this is not a utopian concept – its possible!
You behave like professionals at the work place and you behave like friends outside of work. You dont bring your friendship to the work place and you dont bring your work between your friendship.
This of course doesnt mean you behave like bitches at work – you behave like colleagues who share a great working relationship.
Another aspect is – you dont take advantage of your friendship to get ahead at work. If you do…. well then …. it aint a friendship in the first place. You wouldnt put a friend in a compromising position would you?
Highly Possible, and then again, Not Possible !
It all depends on the individuals, their sense of security, their self confidence and above all their belief in their own professinalism.
Its a bit like the jive steps, in order to move you need to put your foot forward, at the same time must accept that in order for the move to be synchronised, you need to let the other person also put his or her foot forward……
People have had such understanding in the professional arena, but very few. I speak from personal experience.
Friendships born and bloom as a natural process. Once born, they over ride all other relationships and respect all other relationships.
Agree it all dependes on the individual’s security and being emotionally intelligent. Synchronisation is an apt word to mention here.
Sure they can be friends if the boss stops micromanaging and shows faith in the reportee’s capabilities. If the boss clarifies the responsibilities and is not shadowed by the fear that he or she may see the reportee unfit for the job. As for the reportee’s part he needs to take initiative and show his competence.
The power of a subordinate to make the boss look good to her boss is tremendous. To apply this understanding takes a lot of work from both the sides.
I totally agree that YOUR BOSS CAN BE A GOOD FRIEND.
I want to give u my example…..
Right now I am working in TCG Media as a creative incharge. My Boss is Mr. Nitin Agrawal. He is a good boss n good friend of mine. We r sharing each n everything professional as well as personal. It benefits the company as well if ur Boss is very good friend to you. Your employee will be emotionally attached with the company and they will perform better than if u r a only BOSS. If u r a BOSS & good friend both then u will come to know the real problems of the employee n your company will be on the top within a short period of time.
I got very good friend as boss in every company…So u can say I am the lucky one..
I am very much happy to share my thoughts on this creative forum.
I would like to thank very much to Suchie that she write on very good topic. We will expect more writeup from her……
Some of my closest friends have been my bosses and subordinates, so I can safely say that it IS possible to have friends who either report to you, or vice versa. The success factor for this is your personal sense of self-worth, confidence, trust and security. If you know that you are good, and if you either lead or follow a team where you meet challenges together, or achieve common goals, it is but natural to find bosses or subordinates who empathize with you, and support you.
I don’t think it would actually work :-/ not unless our expectations of each other at work match those in friendship. If they do match, which they could, cries of nepotism would invariably flourish as each individual succeeds a wee more than the ‘other guys’ at work. Conversely, the day either set of objectives clash, the objective that wins will destroy the other facet of the relationship.
Tough one. Exceptions will abound, but they won’t define the rule.